Monday, March 30, 2009

I'll Take Potpourri for $100 Please, Alex

Greetings-
I just thought I would ruminate for a while on several things that have happened since the last post. First, my development of PTSD- Post Traumatic Snow Disorder, stemming from the blizzard we had on Thursday. I was at work when it hit and, though everyone implored me to leave early, I stuck it out. The result was a traumatic drive through the blizzard. IT was so scary- wrecks, spin-outs, danger, blind-out conditions, treachery. I had to drive home in it and it has traumatized me. Even today coming home from work I flashed to the white-out conditions of last time. If I had insurance I would get checked out to see if I really do have PTSD.






Next is I had a visit this weekend from my bestest buddy in the whole world- Phil. We met on our respective missions and since the moment we met, we have been each other's best friends. He came out to visit this weekend and it was very much needed. We watched "Howard the Duck" played super-all-star-death Scene it with Rob and drank some old fashioned Paraguayan mate together. It was totally cool and I was sad to see him go, but I am very glad he came.










Next I wanted to share my enthusiasm for Indiana Jones. Dude, I love those movies. The new one gets a lot of flack but "Raiders" was so good it compensates for everything else. That movie is great. I wish I could be an adventurer like Indy. What a way to see the world. In fact a few months ago in Disney World, I came as close as I'll come to living the dream. At the Indiana Jones Stunt show, I was selected to be in the show. I was the very first person picked out of the crowd. I got to be a Cairo bystander in the "Marion in Basket" sequence. I got to wear a pink robe and headband and pretend like I was selling stuff, until the fight broke out then I was supposed to cheer for Indy. Somewhere there exists grainy cell phone pictures of my Indy foray. It was cool. Now my latest project is to convert our guest bedroom into an Adventureland theme. I have some IKEA torches, an Adventureland sign, Indiana Jones map, Indiana Jones movie poster and some signs that I have made to represent Adventureland ambiance. I have even obtained the Fertility Idol from Raiders which I will incorporate into the room. I am pretty excited to get going as I have gathered many items.
Anyway, if you are sad or lonely I recommend watching the Indiana Jones trilogy. It's got action, romance, adventure...in fact, "If Adventure has a name, it must be Indiana Jones!"

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Fantastic, Life Changing News

So for the last 5 or 6 months, things have been pretty gloomy around here and we have been hoping and praying and desiring only one thing. We needed a miracle from heaven and the hopes and prayers of those around us. I went through great frustration, sadness and guilt, and just was so demeaned, demoralized and defeated. Well that all changed. I went to the church to help haul the chairs over to the Stake Center for Stake Conference, when I finally received the miracle we have been seeking. It usually happens when you serve the Lord, and the blessing was immediate. On my way to the Church I saw... a DeLorean. 1986 DMC-12 in pristine condition driving by. It was so awesome! I thought, man the economy might be in shambles I don't have a job but at least there are still DeLoreans out there. It was so awesome!

I should also mention that I got a job this week. For real, and it didn't fall through or be a false alram or have some other weird consequences. I have actually made it through my first week. My new job is at the City of Lakewood Crimelab. Seriously. I work at the Crime Lab. I even have to answer the phone, "Crime Lab, this is Jared." My Official title is "Criminal History Technician," but my main role is to identify, analyze, classify and otherwise cover anything having to do with Fingerprints. And yes, AFIX and AEFIS are real and are actual, extensive databases. I've been learning about whorl, loop and Arch patterns as well as right-slant and all that jazz. I even wear Latex gloves frequently and have a Lab coat at my desk, as well as one of those little fingerprint magnifying glasses. The best part it is it's a job and I get out of the house. Even better is I think I might be enjoying my job- I know doesn't bode well right.

Anyways, just thought I'd share the excellent news with you! I suppose including the one I drove and the one I looked at at the shop, that brings my Lifetime DeLorean sighting total to 6, and counting. Someday she will be mine!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

New Music

Hello. I have been tired of hearing Brad Paisley every time I play solitaire while I'm wasting my time looking for a job, so I've rehashed our playlist. There's something for everyone including some Oscar winners.

On a related note, I just completed "He's Just Not That Into You" the book, and I must say it was quite insightful. I learned a lot. The section on "If he's not marrying you..." was particularly insightful. Perhaps I will write an LDS version to include chapters such as "If he's not praying about it..." and "If he's not taking you on the elevator date..." and "If he's not using stalker net..."

Furthermore, If I had a Facebook page, my status would read "Jared is depressed." I had another job interview on Friday and this time I am not getting the job because of one question. The guy asked me, "this is a 30 hour a week job, are you just using this until you can find something else?" The obvious answer is yes. So once again I have been foiled. I am sad and frustrated at everything. This is my forum so I can say whatever I want, you naysayers that have jobs!

As far as the music, "Leigh Anna" saw some of the selections and immediately complained. She said, "wah wah wah nobody wants to hear your songs- mine were far better." To which I replied, no one wants to hear the entire Brad Paisley Discography every time they see Jospeh pictures. The people want culture. The people want diversity, and as the car commerical says, "the people want to go potty-now." Yes there are some influences, such as Geico, recent headlines and Oscar winners. So let the people decide. It was time for a change right?